Pavement

Well shit.  This is happening kind of fast. I guess I should have expected that. Not like I expected any of this, though.  Whatever.

It feels good not to be scared any more. Actually, this is kind of a badass feeling. Wish I knew what the hell happened. Just another unanswered question, I guess. Such is life.

This is seriously real, isn’t it? I definitely would have woken up by now. I never did have one of those flying dreams you always hear about. Maybe this is my chance. Maybe I’ll pull up and rocket off into the sky in three . . . two . . . one . . . shit. Nothing. Figures.

Looks like I’m past the fire. The fresh air feels nice. It’s loud, though. Wow there’s a lot of fire trucks and whatnot down there. News vans too, probably. I wonder if I’m on TV.  Should I shout “Hi Mom?”

Whoa, that’s just wrong. This is gonna be hell for her. Dad too.

I should have done . . . something. Write a will? I always thought I’d do that when I got old. What about those “I love you all. Here’s my words of wisdom” videos? Do people really do that, or is that just in the movies?

When did I last talk to Mom, anyway? It’s gotta be at least a month. I should have called more.

There’s a lot of things I ought to say to people. The excuses all sound dumb now. It’d be awkward. It’s not my place to say. What if he says no? I just kept putting things off.

Is it normal to do this much thinking? I didn’t know my brain could work this fast. Maybe I wasn’t meant for this job, wasn’t meant to be working here today. You never know, I guess.

It’s weird to think that I could be on TV now.  I didn’t think about it much, but I imagined it’d be more private.  I feel like I should be pissed off or something.

I wonder what this all looks like from the outside in HD.  What are the people thinking when they watch?  Shock?  Horror?  That can’t-look-away feeling?  I wonder if they’re wondering who I am.

There’s a bunch of answers I thought I’d have by now. This adulthood thing didn’t turn out the way I expected. I thought I’d know more than I’d wonder.  omeone could have warned me. Do I just need more time?

I just realized this is the first time I’ve ever known exactly how my life will play out. Ironic. Wait, is that ironic? I’m always messing that up.

Oops.  There’s the pavement.

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