Memo of Babel

You don’t need me to tell you that any large organization is going to create its own dialect of English. It probably works the same way in other languages, but I don’t speak any.

The point is, I’ve been coming up with too many excuses to not blog (or write, really) lately, so I’m going with the low-hanging fruit. So here’s some vocabulary from the peculiar corporate dialect I speak in my day-to-day.

The business – Any set of people that does not include the speaker but is nominally able to give orders to the speaker. I have, in consecutive meetings, received direct orders handed down by the business and been addressed as a member of the business myself.

Let’s take this offline – We should discuss what you just said outside this meeting. Depending on tone and body language it may mean that the speaker needs to Google whatever the hell you just said before they can discuss it.

Learnings – Discrete pieces of information gained from a test of some kind, i.e. the individual quanta of knowledge. “We obtained 14 key learnings from the exercise.”

Ideate – To submit an idea for improvement with the understanding that you will need to do extra work to implement said idea.

That’s a Day 2 Concern – We’re not doing the thing you just suggested but I’m too polite to flatly refuse.

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